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There’s a disturbing amount of Asian Fever on the alt-right.

Whether caused by autism, too much anime, or shills who support race-mixing, many people in our movement (and fellow travelers) are looking to the East for relationships and love.

Yes, we all implicitly know what's going on here -- why else did America go to war in two Asian countries last century? Us girls all like to pretend that we're your first Far East foray.

STEP THREE: The Relationship If you get to the point now where you're dating an Asian girl, you better understand where she's coming from.

People who support or condone race-mixing commonly argue that White girls are degenerate whores and depraved feminists eager to screw over men in divorce.

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When I came down with the flu, he accompanied me to my therapy at the clinic and read to me from with me -- one of the weepiest chick flicks ever made -- and actually shed a few tears when it ended.

Given our immigrant roots, most Asian girls endure a latent insecurity about everything from our boobs to our patriotism (both things that are just slightly there). But if you're going to lock it down and marry your Oriental princess, you must know one final thing: in Chinese wedding traditions, the groom pays for the wedding.

So, as her white, Jewish (80% of the time), totally-secure-and-normal boyfriend, you better be prepared for when your girlfriend mistakes "soup or salad" for "super salad." And since Asians have eyes like gravy boats, her crying jags are bound to extend late into the night. STEP FOUR: Locking it Down If you've made it this far, then you know all the dirty secrets of dating an Asian girl. You know we pretend to love drinking, even though we turn into full-blown red-faced injuns when we do. (According to my mom, the tradition stems from the groom's family giving the bride's family a cow in exchange for her.) So, if you're going to marry an Asian, get ready to empty your pockets. Of course, because of this, my parents want me to marry a Chinese guy and my brother to marry a white girl.

Obviously the black guy is the only person who can truly know what it’s like to be a black guy right?

Also a black guy who’s gone to Denny’s many many times would have even a more accurate opinion on the matter.

In September 1999 -- my first month in China -- I had a huge crush on a guy.

My heart melted at that first sight of his big sesame-oil brown eyes.

You probably know by now that having an Asian girlfriend is a rite of passage for all white men.

"Date an Asian chick" has become akin to "Go skydiving" or "Live in New York" in the veritable white guy bucket list.

And I as I came to know him better, he didn't disappoint me.

He always opened doors for me and wouldn't leave my side until he escorted me all the way to the entrance to my apartment.