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The woman, who only wants to be known as Jenny, is the first known WA romance fraud victim to receive any money back.

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If you try online dating, you likely have questions: The cliché is that women get a ton of messages. I get a lot of messages, but I have no interest in 90% of them. Seriously, if you put anything sexual in an introductory message, I think you’re an asshol E.The majority are boring, clearly copy/pasted, and do absolutely nothing to start a conversation. It’s hard enough to date someone who lives in a different borough of NYC! Maybe if you’re hilarious, gorgeous, AND bake macarons.However, I feel rude when they clearly put some thought and effort into emailing me to just blow them off--especially when I can see that they've visited my profile again since sending the message.I try to put myself in their shoes, but honestly, I still can't decide what I would want.Now if you demonstrate a great sense of humor and that we have things in common, I might entertain the “age is only a number” cliché. If you want responses to messages REFRAIN FROM ALL OF THE ABOVE. There’s also not so secret Reason #20: I’m just not attracted to you. BUT a good message can make a person so much more attractive, I’m not kidding! Ones that are too specific to be copy/pasted to the entirety of the online world.

It’s also great to ask a question at the end of your message- this starts a conversation and gives something to respond to. This is me doing my part to make that world a reality.But to pull the Ok Cupid data back up, users who write “sexy,” “beautiful,” “hot,” or “cutie” in their initial messages have a below-average response rate.Focusing on appearance from the get-go can make us wonder if we have anything substantive to connect over. Apologizing Trust me, I know what it’s like to send a message when you’re already picturing the recipient sighing in exasperation upon opening it, insulted that you would even imply you were in the same league.( AJH5Wvx C)You’ve heard this advice about your cover letters, and it applies here too: Please don’t write a message generic enough that it could have been copied and pasted.It leaves us asking ourselves either “Did he read my profile?” or “Did he not think it was worth his time to read my profile? And please, dear lord, do not actually copy and paste your messages.While you may think it looks like you’ve typed “Hey, how’s it going” or even “You seem really down to earth,” we can tell all you’ve actually typed is “Control C” and “Control V.” Even if we can’t, you’re at some point bound to send your template to the same person twice and get caught like the unfortunate fellow below — or worse, you’ll send your supposedly individualized message to two women who know each other, like the guy who asked my roommate and I both if we were Brazilian. Commenting on our appearances Yes, we all want to find someone attractive and feel attractive ourselves.They'll reference information on my profile, ask me thoughtful questions about my life, and maybe even compliment me in a sweet, non-creepy way.But even though I appreciate this, sometimes I'm just not into the guy or I can tell right off the bat we aren't compatible. Here's what I debate about: Whether or not to respond to guys I'm just not that into.In fact, sometimes they'll send me the same message twice because they've already forgotten they sent it to me in the first place. It's the guys who send me real messages that give me pause.