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Religious life may be more of an unknown, but most communities offer “come and see” opportunities, as well as live-in experiences and service opportunities that may lift some of the mystery of what life in a community of vowed religious might be like.

When it comes to making up, don’t misunderstand me.

In my years of working with those discerning a possible call to religious life, this issue often comes up. In exploring each lifestyle (form of life)—married, single, or religious—you need to do your homework.

Talk to committed and fulfilled people in each vocation, and listen to what happens to your heart as you look through the lens of their commitment at that lifestyle.

One of the greatest tools in your discernment toolbox will be a spiritual director.

This mentor (usually a priest or religious, but not necessarily) is a person you can spill your guts to, and he or she will be able to guide you through the tumultuous waters of discernment.

In the absence of a formal spiritual director, I highly recommend getting to know St. If I am discerning an important life decision—for this post, let’s use the example of being a summer missionary—my emotions can erratically pull me from one extreme to the next on a daily or even hourly basis.

Ignatius of Loyola a bit better, especially his methodology, the “discernment of spirits.” When I began to read his works in the seminary, my immediate thought was, “Where WAS this guy in college when I needed him the MOST?! When it comes to affection or romance ( wisdom: “Search your feelings.” St.

It’s such a common thing that either you’ve heard of it or are caught up in it yourself! It is the seemingly endless habit many couples have in which they will fight and makeup on a regular basis. It makes for great movies, but what works for a 90-minute Hollywood hit is a no-go in the real world.

What I mean is this: if fighting in your dating world means hitting, pushing, shoving, name calling, yelling, manipulating, or anything rude that occurs on a consistent basis then, of course, turn walk away. In bad relationships, bad things happen and will continue to happen if you let them. Wisdom always does now what brings satisfaction later.

Is it OK to date while discerning a vocation to religious life?

In fact, is it even advisable, as other discerners, friends, and family may advocate? Have you considered other options for a life commitment? If you are going to make a thorough, honest discernment of a life vocation, you need to carefully consider the options before you.