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But there are many more stories to the contrary of great heartache and eventual splitting of partners either before or after marriage - sometimes much later in life.With the added pressure of other people drifting in and out of casual relationships, everyone else is having all the fun and you end up wondering why you don't try it yourself!The Bible is clear about a man's responsibility to exercise spiritual maturity and spiritual leadership.Of course, this spiritual maturity takes time to develop, and it is a gift of the Holy Spirit working within the life of the believer.The moral collapse into mere ideology, into functionalism, and/or into clericalism must be overcome by repentance, reform and renewal.These temptations offer to Church leaders and members counterfeits of the real.The disciplines of the Christian life, including prayer and serious Bible study, are among the means God uses to mold a boy into a man and to bring spiritual maturity into the life of one who is charged to lead a wife and family.

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The answer to this must go far beyond biology and chronological age.Pope Francis recently warned the bishops in Latin America of three temptations that need to be recognized and overcome.In an address he described the three as 1) making the Gospel message an ideology, 2) functionalism (viewing and operating the Church as if it were a business), and 3) clericalism.Francis explains only briefly the three in his address, but the three as named can serve as very helpful headings of Church weakness in the West.They help clarify just how it is that so many of our parishes appear like a bureaucracy and are as spiritually impoverished as they are.A man's spiritual leadership is not a matter of dictatorial power, but of firm and credible spiritual leadership and influence.A man must be ready to lead his wife and his children in a way that will honor God, demonstrate godliness, inculcate Christian character and lead his family to desire Christ and to seek God's glory. ugh.” As a male Christian college student with no wife, no steady job, and no financial independence, I squirmed with unease and insecurity.(2) She (or a friend) dated a guy, got burned, and reinterpreted him through the lens of hurt as a “man-boy.” (3) Taking jabs at immature men is a fun and easy way to sequester the chilling reality of singleness. It is used to personally demean and debase a class of Christians. “But,” you say, “there are a lot of Christian men who exhibit disappointing behaviors.” This is true, but I’m not convinced categories like sinfulness or laziness, common explanations, properly capture the issue.You must have heard it said; There is of course nothing inherently wrong with dating a non-Christian.There are stories of Christians going out with non-Christians who subsequently give their life to God and the two go on to get married.