Everyone’s had the experience of frantically wondering if their crush likes them back, but many women of color must also frantically wonder if their crush sees them as a human being.
Jarrett: I'm thinking of a time where we were in a social setting, and a white male decided to call me "my nigga." I knew this person, but he wasn't my friend. I'll love them regardless if they're white, black, yellow, green — it doesn't matter." Our country has some catching up to do.
Jarrett: You have beautiful mixed babies out there that people are going gaga over. When we started dating, I was exposed to how a lot of Dominican women like to get their hair done. They go to a salon or at home, they wash their hair and put it in the rolos and they sit under a hot dryer. I wash my hair and let it air dry — put it in a bun, braid it.
Take S, for example, whose romance with white friend-of-a-friend J started as many college hook-ups do: bonding over shared musical interests, hanging out in the park, fooling around after parties.
“In my mind, we were well on our way to a well rounded friendship,” she explains.
Jill: Jarrett was the first black guy I ever dated. We vibed on the fact that we both have really crazy work ethics. The daily struggle — sometimes when we would walk into the room, I would be the only Latina or I'd comment to Jarrett, "You're the only black guy here."Jarrett: We are definitely both successful in our fields and able to pay our rent on time. Jill: I was a little bit wary of how my family would be toward him.
Any guy I'd ever brought home was a Spanish-speaker. It was like, "Oh, my gosh, how is he even going to talk to anybody? I would have been praised for dating a white man because my babies would have come out with green eyes and "good hair." I know my family isn't ignorant, but I didn't want them to think he was a thug.
When I was 16, I had no idea about what Mexicans are all about.
He was one of my inspirations in traveling South America. Okay, I am officially naming my first son after him.’ This guy is the love of my life!
My first love was Gael Garcia-Bernal with his powerful portrayal of Che Guevara in the Motorcycle Diaries movie.
It may look like they’re just randomly mixing stuff in a bowl but in reality, they are really brewing perfection. And when you try to ask for the recipe, they don’t have it. Why they include the guacamole’s seed is another mystery. They always want to know what’s in the food they eat. Sometimes, I come to think, “do Mexican men ever lie to women? They can even say a bad word and it will sound good to you. I am trying to move forward.” They will obey by letting you be and not talking to you. You will always be that special girl in their life.